Jailbait

ESU has a Student Recreation Center that is free for any student who wishes to use it. The cardio area has 4 - 5 TVs in it. I went running yesterday, and there was only one treadmill open: the one in front the ESPN TV. Sigh. So I take the treadmill while its open.

The sport that was playing today was baseball. The game that was playing managed to hold my attention, mostly because there were a lot of VERY attractive players. But something was a little odd about these baseball players. They all seemed kind of short.

Then I realized that I was watching the LLWS, or Little League World Series.

And all of the players are 12.

F.M.L.

You Wish You Were Me

You know what's classy?

Blacking out a party only to wake up on a couch with no hair extensions and without a shirt. You know what's even classier? Finding out that you puked into your own hair.

That's classy.

What's in a Name

Pilot Inspektor.

Kal-el.

Tayshawn.

What do these words have in common?

They're names. Yes, names. HIPSTER names.

Is it really necessary to take a giant steaming dump on the life of your child?

I think not.

And in case you're not sure what a hipster is or why they're dumb,

Some Inspiration

Live like you have a big black cock in your pants. Even if you don't.

It's the Last Dance?

As most of you know, school is starting up and my job at Pantyland has ended. Since my blog is titled RETAIL Makes Me Hate You (and I am no longer working in retail), technically, our journey should be over.

BUT! I discovered something.....

People actually read my blog.

So fear not good people, all is not lost. I shall continue to post stories. Albeit, they won't be based in retail, but the stories will still center around the stupidity of everyone else.

Like the manufacturers of my razors. What in the HELL do I need lavender-scented razor handles for?

I didn't mean to offend you

Most women have a preferred style of panty, which is understandable. Everyone finds different cuts of panty comfortable. But most women don't take offense when you show them a different style.

Customer: Do you have any brief-style underwear?
Me: We do! We have the high-leg brief on the cotton panty table.
Customer: But you said "high-leg."
Me: Yes ma'am, that's the kind of brief-style panty we sell.
Customer: Yeah, but I don't know if "high-leg" is going to work for me.
Me: Well, the next closest style we carry is the bikini-style panty. It's cut just...
Customer: Oh! Well! I am NOT all about that!!
Me: ............if you need anymore help, let me know!

You're picky and weird.

It's Science Part 2

Fact: Customers are attracted to anything that has been recently cleaned and/or organized. We find that the highest levels of attraction exist between the PUNK panty-bar and middle-schoolers.

Culture Shock

Today actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting, considering it's tax-free weekend. I worked the fitting room for the first half of today. No one was really rude. In fact Most of the customers were fairly reasonable, but one woman definitely stood out.

An elderly Asian woman came to the fitting room today looking for a strapless bra. I showed her a few options and gave her a fitting room. A few minutes after I put her in the fitting room, she cracked open the door and said that she couldn't get the straps back on. I offered to show her how to replace the straps and asked if I could come in to her fitting room. I opened the door, and she did NOT have a bra on.

Let me repeat this: SHE WAS NAKED

Most customers in this situation would have either: A) Kept a bra on and let me in the room or B) Asked me to wait a moment while they put a shirt on.

Not this customer. Nope. She's just naked. Hanging a boob. Or in this case, two of them.

I understand that in some cultures, nudity is fairly acceptable. But to me, it still came as a culture shock.

And So It Begins

Tax free weekend begins today. It lasts from Friday-Sunday. For those of you who don't know what that is, it means that for this weekend only, customers can shop retail and school supplies and won't have to pay the sales tax.

For the unfortunate individuals who work in retail, it's basically the Black Friday of Back-To-School.

UGH.

To those of you who are crazy enough to shop on these days, I plea this: BE NICE TO THE ASSOCIATES. We that it's very busy. We know that you waited in line for days. And we know that you're probably annoyed by these facts. But trust me, it is infinitely worse having to stand in one place for 6 hours, cashier, listen to you bitch at us, and still be nice to you. PLEASE be that one customer who understands that for the sales associates, this is a VERY long and VERY exhausting weekend. You don't even have to be nice, just be not an asshole.

Thank you.

Cheer Up

Everyone needs a bit of cheering up after a hard shift. This video always makes me laugh, no matter what!

You're Tacky and I Hate You

How To Act Classy at Pantyland

Classy: Dressing with taste and propriety.
NOT Classy: Wearing t-shirts that contain the following phrases: "I Can Out Drink You Bitches," "Size DOES Matter," or "Twin Peaks."

Classy: Storing your money in a wallet or other designated storage container.
NOT Classy: Pulling your money out of your bra soaked in boob sweat.

Classy: Asking what kinds of lingerie we sell.
NOT Classy: Asking where the crotchless panties are.

Classy: Describing the bra you're wearing so that I can assist you in finding it.
NOT Classy: Telling me that you want to find the bra you're wearing and then flashing me.